Thursday, January 27, 2011

Why I like GodsyGirls like Denisha Pitre



Once again, I thank God for the transparency some of the "new generation" Christian ministers exhibit. For example, You've likely read my post about Joni Lamb and her inspiring testimony through personal pain. Now, I learned about another sister - PW - that is also making God look really good to a dark and disillusioned world. Thank God for those Christian leaders that build up the Kingdom in their lifestyles, personal choices and even in their mistakes.

While watching a sermon by a preacher (Isaac Pitre), I did as so many people do nowadays, I Googled him. I know, I know, we can't always trust the Internet, but I can tell a whole lot about a pastor by his website. Really.

Anyway, I happened upon an article about Pitre's divorce and re-marriage to his wife Denisha. The interview brought tears to my eyes. The couple humbly opened their hearts to the Christian magazine, Charisma, and unashamedly confessed, explained and detailed their road from brokenness to wholeness.

Pitre's wife, Denisha made the following life-changing statement in the interview:

"For all wives, but especially for pastors’ wives, you should learn not to be a clone of what you think a pastor’s wife should be. I urge women to look inward and discover who they are. Focus on developing that. Everything you need for your spouse is wrapped up in who you really are."

Praise God for women that know God's voice and know how to trust Him. Her tender heart towards God brings to mind the song "I Surrender All".

Being in this role requires so much more than a pretty face, a good singing voice or nice suits (did I hit all the stereotypes?) It takes an ability to rely on God in the most difficult of times and trust His call, not only on your husband's life, but also on yours. This ability has a little to do with you. Sure, you must take responsibility for your own spiritual growth (i.e. prayer and study of God's Word), but there's more to it than that. Still, there is an anointing, a presence of God, that comes from His Spirit. It gives us the power to have a sort of blind, bold faith that we [all] need to trust God for HUGE ministry goals, enormous prayer request and divine direction. As my husband would say in his country swagger "it's more than a notion", but God is able, and in His power so are you. Read 2Peter 1:3.

So, amen, Sis. Denisha! Shes now part of my hall of hero! Go, Godsy Girl(tm).

Read the article http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/inspire/28130-love-and-remarriage

P.S. I don't know any of these people. Just offering honor where honor is due.

Monday, January 24, 2011

"What does that have to do with me?" - Challenges of senior pastors' wives

One of the biggest challenges pastors' wives face is the bundles of expectations churches have for the woman married to the under-shepherd.  For example,  

- Some wish you had more education; some think you have too much "learning".

- Some wish you had a job; others wish you did not work, so you'd be more available.

- Some wish you'd dress like a fashion plate; others wish you'd dress less flashy.

- Some say you're too involved in church business; others say you're not active enough.

- Some say your husband talks about you too much over the pulpit; others say "he never talks about his wife."

One of the biggest emotional and spiritual prisons you can experience is rooted in the expectations of other people.  Nothing will cripple you more severely than caring too much about what others desire you to do or be.

Anyone over 25 will tell you "you can't please everyone". So true.   

In order to maintain your sanity and fulfill God's call on your life, you must unshackle yourself from the bondage of people pleasing.

Keep your eyes locked, glued and fixed on Christ, and secondly on your husband. Everything else is sinking sand if misappropriated. Elevate"people" above those two relationships and you're positioning yourself for burn-out, depression and worse.

In the end, the only thing that matters is God's approval and how dilligently you adhere to His laws and expectations. He's your fuel for everything else. Without Him; without His presence you're spinning your wheels and running on fumes.

Secondly, is your husband. I know he can be a bugger, but he's your covenant partner. Respect the covenant; regardless of him. Do it unto God.  Don't focus so much energy on pleasing the "church people" that you lose your trust, closeness and relationship with him. By the way, the same goes for him, but this blog isn't written for him. (smile)

So, what don the expectations of others have to do with you? Not much. Love, be a blessing and obey the Holy Spirit over all.

As my grandma used to say "people don't have a heaven or hell to put you in, so don't worry about them.". Keep your eyes on the God of your salvation. Amen?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Planning a women's prayer breakfast?

Ok. I'm cross-promoting. I've gotten a few emails about planning women's prayer breakfasts and Christian Women's retreats.

I actually have a article on my sister site Godsy Girl.com touching on this subject. Check it out Link here

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Me, Married to a Pastor?

About six years ago, I married a Senior pastor.

A single mom for over thirteen years and I enjoyed a rather obscure life. Sure, I had friends, but my life was comfortably simplistic and uncontested.

What's more, I attended a mega church, lived in a big community and had grown accustomed to the "invisibility" of my life. But God had another plan for me and my pre-teen son, Ben. My relatively simple and predictable life was about to change.

A charming and upcoming young pastor, named John, and I shared a mutual friend. After relentless attempts to introduce us, I became the "victim" of a quick setup by Kevin and an even quicker courtship courtesy of John! Shortly thereafter, I became "Mrs. Pastor" and walked into the "twilight zone" of front line ministry.

In my short initiation of marrying a pastor with a well-established church, I have learned the following:

- God will give you a grace to love far beyond your experience and imagination. As you stay close to the Lord, He will empower you to love like He does through His Holy Spirit.

- Clothes and appearances mean more to people, than they should. Just be yourself, Girl, and you'll be fine. People will love you for you. I likely scare some people with my jeans on Easter and big fro, but who cares? Ask me why I wore jeans on Easter Sunday.

- My own intimate walk with Christ is the most critical element to my success as a pastor's wife (and human being, for that matter). Without a strong prayer life, I'd have nothing to offer in ministry. Plus, I'd likely hang people buy their toes (hubby included)!

- Trust God with your heart and your feelings. Love people freely without fear of rejection. The Bible has no description for our role, so take the pressure off and love God's people in a way that is comfortable for your personality and temperament! No comparisons to your how people feel about your hubby, just love in your own way and your own light.

I'm still learning, so feel free go share your life lessons for senior pastors' wives or "1st Ladies". Post as comments or email me at godsygirl-at-yahoo-dot.com

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Great blogs for pastors' wives

I happened upon this great article that features a ton of blogs for pastors' wives! I lovereading blogs, opinions and wisdom other pastor's wives. This page is a great one shop stop"

Here it is!

Any other great sites out there?

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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Trust and the Senior Pastor's Wife



Sometimes, it's wisest not to show everything you know. Very often, your husband will share very personal and sensitive information and it's your job to guard it.

When my hubby shares such information, it's sometimes difficult to keep my "poker face" in public. Difficult, but often very necessary. This is especially true when the information impacts ministries and positions in the church.


Its critical that people (and your husband) be able to trust you with very private information at all times.


Ministry doesn't work when people don't feel safe.


So, be careful. Pray for wisdom. As you know, many women in our position have wreaked havoc on congregations because of their prideful need to feel important and powerful.


Your power comes from God and the Holy Spirit. You don't need the validation of people. If it comes, great. If not, so what.


So, shhhhhh....


Amen?




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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

"Is it hard being a pastor's wife?"

"Is it hard being a pastor's wife?"

Someone asked me this loaded question Sunday before service. With all the pre-service hustle and bustle, I really didn't have a moment to think before my response. You know those moments. It's when the mind idles and words just spill from your lips somewhat independently of all reason and logic.
"I really don't think of it", I said. "My main focus is on being a good Christian and wife, the rest is what it is".
In our stressful and demanding role, it's tempting to focus on the challenges, expectations, sacrifices and endless "to do" lists of ministry. But, in the long and short of it, our lives are all about Jesus and His purposes for us as women, mothers and servants in His kingdom.
Apart from our husbands, we are "God's girls" being conformed into the image of Christ. We are not our clothes, cars, church roles or our husband's call. We are just broken vessels waiting for the next life-giving touch from the Master - just like everyone else.
As we keep Christ first, our role as pastor's wife, first lady (or whatever) just falls into place. Amen, Senior Pastor's Wife?


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