Friday, June 10, 2011

When I married a pastor, everything changed!

You know, I was just thinking.

When I married my husband (a senior pastor) my life changed drastically. I went from being an obscure member of a rather large church to a "in the spotlight" mate of a high profile man of God.

I went from moving far south to moving far east. 

I went from being in non-denominational to being Baptist.

I went from being a size 6 to a size 10...Oh wait...that's my fault! LOL

I went from selfishly "jetting" right after church service to staying much later, simply because some people enjoyed talking, sharing or having prayer with me.

I went from being a divorced single mom of a teen age son to a brand new mommie of a new little boy. 

Finally, I went from being a professional woman - a manager - to a laid off, pregnant housewife in a whole new world.

Indeed, my life changed in many ways. Some good, some bad. It seems now;  many people want to be my friend to get next to my husband, people like political figures, community members, church members, etc. But, I praise God for the people that knew me before I became "First Lady" and those that have hung in there with me through the tears, transition and settling into God's new season of my life.

You see, I guess some of my "friends" assumed something, imagined something or just didn't want to continue being my friend after I married. That hurt. I needed those people then more than ever. But, they were suddenly gone.

"I knew you didn't want me around once you got married", said one of my old girlfriends several years ago. How wrong she was.

Now, that my husband pastors one of the largest urban churches in our city, I am bit more discerning about friendships. People who suddently appear and people who suddenly re-appear in my life sometimes raise my emotional attenas. For instance, some of the same folks seem to call when my husband is on television or in the media. It makes me leary. Not that I'm not open, but I just allow people "in  very carefully in an effort to  protect my husband and my church family. You know what I mean. Here's an example: I have had people have asked me to lunch (under the guise of friendship) only to see if they could speak our church's women's retreat, get their husband to meet my husband or use our church building! Really!

Anyhoo, take a moment to thank God for those people that will accept, respect and cover you in prayer for the long haul. Your role is demanding, stressful and, at times, lonely. You need strong emotional ties to keep you encouraged and propel you into your holy destiny.  Hold tight to the relational "jewels" in your life and thank God for His faithfulness. I know I do

Love you,

Teri

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